Some “regular” Facebook practices that irritate me, or, “Would you do that in real life?”

So, this week, some random things happened on Fb, and that’s where THIS post is coming from, well, in part. It’s kind of  a musing of how things have evolved as “ok to do” on facebook, and some wondering where that shit came from… let’s begin…

One  morning, I started off with my post for my page. I do it every day, sometimes with a picture of my current work in progress, sometimes a picture of Brainy, it just depends on what’s going on.  I noticed that my number of “likes” had gone down a few people.  Normally, that doesn’t bother me too much. I really only want my folks who actually like my work to like my page,  and  DON’T  like it if you only want me to like yours back (I’ll be getting to THIS  a bit later on).  So, while that was a bit of a bummer, it was ok…

A bit later on, I posted a picture by Michael Kvium on my personal page

MichaelKvium

If you know me at all, even from my yarny page, you now I love creepy things, the creepier the better.   This picture makes me smile.  A friend of a friend got all up in my shit about why would I post this, it wasn’t beautiful, what good was it… BLAH BLAH BLAH  I was really nice about it, I said that obviously he had never been to visit my page before, but on my page, creepy is king. I thought that might be a nice way to explain to this guy that I like creepy things, and this picture made me happy.  Later on though, he STILL wanted to know why I posted it, it wasn’t beautiful… I didn’t want to tell him off, he’s not MY friend, BUT WHAT THE HELL! DON”T GO TO SOMEONE’S PERSONAL PAGE AND QUESTION THEIR ART CHOICE, JUST DON’T CLICK THE LIKE BUTTON!

     This brings me to  “the something” that happened… it was  nothing horrible, but I do wonder what the real life of this person is like… I posted a new cover photo to my page, I’ve recently found a photo editing site that lets me make collages easily, no signing in or anything… and I’ve wanted to do a collage on my page, but not being very computer savvy, and having no software, I felt like a dolt asking someone to make one for me. Here’s my cover

PicMonkey Collage

I love it… Not long after I’d posted it, someone who will remain nameless commented “Oh no, don’t like those” with a frowny face… WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!  I played it off on my page, though I have since deleted the comment.  Whatever happened to “if you you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything?”  PLENTY of Fb pages post pictures of things I’m not fond of, but I don’t have to click “like” on every picture, I only “like” the ones I actually like.  But I also don’t feel the need to post on the picture “I don’t like that,”  ESPECIALLY if it’s someone’s art… WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!  Really.  All kinds of things ran through my head initially, something between “well, we don’t all like the same stuff” to “awesome, I don’t care what you like,” along with some less than nice things, which I won’t post, but I’m sure you get the idea.   Bottom line, if you don’t like my work, click “unlike” and get the hell on with it, because I”m not trying to make everyone happy.  Happily, my friend T posted a video that made me feel better, and giggle.

 

I was singing this all day long!  I was also wondering if I was “being a dick” about the lady not liking my work and being open about it…then I decided no… you wouldn’t walk into a store, look at something and proclaim to the owner, and possibly creator, “Oh no I don’t like that.”  Or at the least, I would not do that. Apparently this lady thinks that’s acceptable behavior, but does she do this in real life?  Are there things I/you/people do on Facebook we’d not do in real life? well duh,… then I started thinking about all the things folks do on Fb that they hopefully wouldn’t do in real life…

About a year ago, a former  Fb friend from another country posted a video on her page, a 10 minute long video about her home land. I don’t watch videos as a rule. If you can’t give me your info in written form with a few pictures, I don’t want to see it. She posted some nonsense about if people were her real friends they’d watch the video. She didn’t make it, she just decided to obligate “real” friends to watching it. I was online and she asked why I hadn’t watched it.  I told her, I don’t watch videos, and THIS one was 10 minutes long, I had stuff to get to… She went on a tirade about how shallow I was, and I should watch her dumb video…and unfriended me… meh.  DON’T obligate “real friends” to perform actions against what they want just to prove something… you’ll be disappointed in the end.  Guess I wasn’t a real friend…  So then, in real life does she demand everyone like what she likes? That’s got to be completely boring!   Are her real friends that disposable?

So, as I promised, a bit of jabber about the folks who click the like button and add a post about where they found me and where they’re from.  This happens a lot on Fb.  It’s about promotion, I understand.  When I first started my page, I have to admit, I did some shameless promotion on every venue I could.  I joined tagging circles, where a post is created, everyone tags their business and then with their personal profile, goes to each business page and likes it.  I joined pages and did this, they call it “cruising” on some pages… I stopped it long ago.  The pages that frequent those pages, and activities, don’t fall into the same category as my page.  Most of those pages were full of baby stuff, and bows, and dresses and hair stuff… None of it was creepy, I didn’t really fit in. AND, I’m not a mum, not going to be. I have short hair, love blue jeans, and I wasn’t really their target audience.  So, now, having my own page, folks find me and post on my page’s timeline something akin to “Hi I like your creations! Sending love from MY PAGE!”  Some even  go as far as saying the words “like my page back.”  Here’s the thing: I get notifications from my page when someone clicks like on a picture or post, and so many of those folks who post that they like my work didn’t actually click like, or comment on anything.  Some of them even post “Ooooh creepy but interesting! I found you on ______,  Here’s my page blahblahblah.com.  I don’t like the pages of someone who doesn’t really like mine, they’re just looking for another tally mark.  I can, however, tell when someone likes my work…suddenly there are comments on my pictures, and I get like 34 notificiations about pictures that were liked (yes, that is an actual number from one day).  IF you feel the need to try to get someone to pop back over to your page, make it apparent that you like their work! Go through and like or comment on posts and/or pictures, and when you post on their page, trying to get them to visit your shop, don’t say “like me back,”  *shudder*  Tell them that what you like about their work, talk about a favorite piece, perhaps  tell them how you found their page and that you’re so glad. and then, you can add, “I’d really appreciate it if you popped by my page, __________. Thanks, and have a good day!” or something like that. But actually make your presence known, it will be known,if you don’t.  I do visit the pages that folks ask me to. and I do look through pictures, and try to find stuff I like.  If it’s not my cup of blood, then I don’t “like” the page, and I can usually tell that within a week, they weren’t real fans of my page either, because they’re gone from my list of fans…… whatever.

One last short bit, it doesn’t bother me so much anymore, I just ignore it for the most part.  Crochet folks, probably knitting folks too,  want patterns for everything.  There are some groups of hookers who just as soon as someone posts a picture of what they’ve made, immediately ask if there’s a pattern to be shared.  This used to be so weird to me… it happens all the time, apparently its cool to do in the community.    I don’t work from patterns, hate following patterns, in fact, I almost never do, even if I have a pattern for something.  If I need to make a hat, I choose color, stitch, measure the head, do a gauge swatch, and then make the hat from that…I don’t follow patterns.   I may look at a pattern, but I never make it as is…I change the yarn, the hook size , the stitch, decrease a few stitches here and there because I don’t like the way something happens… I don’t like to make anything exactly like a pattern says…which means I also don’t write patterns.   I do what I do by looking at a picture, and making the yarn do what I want it to do. But if I had to take time to write that down,  and make sure it made sense, all the happiness is gone.  Also, you have to add in the fact that I’m a lefty, so then the pattern has to be checked over by someone who is right handed… and, finally, and this sounds shitty in my head, and I can’t seem to work out how not to sound this way, but I don’t want everyone  making what I make.   I want folks to want to come up with their own zombie or monster designs, not copy mine. These are my visions of what I create………see, sounds kind of shitty, I could probably come up with a nicer way to say that:  for every person there is a unique way to create a monster, and I’d prefer to see what you come up with rather than copy someone else’s,  that takes away some of your creativity… and while that is true, the first one is true too… Does that make me a dick, or a bitch, about it? Maybe,but in all truth, I’d rather spend my time creating monsters, not patterns.    You might be interested to know that I might be trying to figure out how to create a pattern for one of my most loved characters…I’m toying with the idea of writing down instructions for my most asked for character, but it will read more like a conversation on how I create him, not a pattern……give you a hint…

21155_386463138096346_1496498063_n

It will probably take much of the year to get around to doing it, and it probably won’t be a free pattern, but it won’t be much, and I promise it won’t be expensive… but don’t bug me about, I dislike that kind of pressure.

The less than great part about all this, about the negative comments I should have just deleted in the first place since my page  IS Kimland… is that I doubted myself for a second.  I wondered, am I too creepy? Should I take a step back and readjust my work? Do I care what those people think?…….. THE ANSWER IS A RESOUNDING NO!!! I like my work. I’m happy with my style, with the creatures I create, my yarnspawn,  and if you don’t like it you can scroll up to the top of my page and click “unlike” unceremoniously, thank you very bloody much!  There is no real need to tell me you don’t like my creations… THOSE WEREN’T FOR YOU!  And, as I’ve never had someone tell me they were unhappy with what they received, I think my creepiness level is JUST FINE!  Which is pretty much, also what my friends T and S were telling me, they’re quite wonderful!  🙂  

So that’s pretty much it…I’ve spent much of this week working on a bag that looks like Frankenstein’s monsteril_570xN.383913381_674y (1)

This isn’t my original idea/pattern. I didn’t buy the pattern, but my customer told me he was cool with me coming up with my own version.  The strap is done, I found a great pattern for a chain link  strap  http://speckless.wordpress.com/2011/03/23/crochet-pattern-chain-link/  I did knit the face, the back of the head, and the gusset, I’m sewing that together today.   There will be pictures on my Fb page, and maybe one here, just as a “look what mine looked like…”

Anyway…um…thanks for reading my rant, like it or not…  just remember not to be a dick about the things you don’t like…and, as always, KEEP IT CREEPY!!!

Brainy got an Easter Bunny in the mail from CraftDee Creations www.facebook.com/CraftDeeCreations?ref=ts&fref=ts

Brainy got an Easter Bunny in the mail from CraftDee Creations http://www.facebook.com/CraftDeeCreations?ref=ts&fref=ts

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19 thoughts on “Some “regular” Facebook practices that irritate me, or, “Would you do that in real life?”

  1. this was good and ranty, awesome, clear and to the point. Love it! I too got caught up in those tag a business days but soon found that pointless as why in the world do I want people on my page who don’t even like yarn *gasp* the thought of someone not liking yarn seems impossible but it’s true, some don’t! So my page wouldn’t be a page for them. And I too have seen some things I wish my eyes never did but I don’t feel the need to stop and tell everyone, hey I don’t like that. I just move on.. even choose hide this post if it really bothers me because if I don’t like things I don’t need to be a dick about it 🙂

    • Sharon, I still giggle at the thought of you singing the song! I think sometimes things become ok to do on facebook or on the interwebs, but when we look at it from a real life point of view, it’s not ok. And folks who don’t like yarn just don’t know what it can do!!!

  2. Awesome post and totally justified rant. I’ve often had the people who never interact on my page suddenly pipe up from nowhere to ask for a pattern. I provide a lot of patterns for free just because I like to give back a little to the community but then people get irritated if I make one a pay pattern even though I make the prices really reasonable. It’s almost like it is now expected of me. I don’t like that attitude. I don’t owe anyone my time and trouble in coming up with patterns and it really comes off as incredibly rude to me when someone never interacts on my page to tell me they like anything but will immediately ask for a pattern for whatever I’ve just posted. No pleases or thank yous even. So I totally see behavior on facebook that would not be acceptable in real life and I agree that it should also not be acceptable on facebook pages. It might be a real ego-booster to have a high number of likes on your page but having someone like your page just because you ask them to and they do it out of politeness is not going to gain you a new customer. Also, if someone likes your page but then hides it from their newsfeed, what good does that do anyone? I think a request to check out a page is acceptable with no expectation for anyone to like it. If they check it out and decide they like it, they don’t need to be convinced to press that “Like” button. Personally, my crochet business page is to interact with the crochet community and to show my works. I don’t need my newsfeed filled with pages that I’ll never visit. And if I feel that way then probably a lot of other people do too. As far as not liking something, it’s fine for someone to not like it. They are entitled to their opinion and entitled to keep that opinion to themselves. Mothers don’t teach, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” for no reason. It’s just the classier thing to do. No need to be a dick.

    • Thanks T, and thanks again for the video! Folks do just expect stuff, and think things are never going to be any different…I hope their lives aren’t like that! The impersonality of the interwebs is good and bad, but sometimes, when folks let their true colors show, it makes me wonder what their lives are like…how did they get to live so long being such dicks???

  3. Fantastic post.

    People *will* make comments in person, if you don’t follow the proscribed way people are ‘supposed’ to look. I’m pretty gothy looking, with some non-traditional piercings and visible tattoos and complete strangers would walk up and tell me to take out my piercings or they hated my tattoos. When I had hair down to my ankles it was, ‘You should cut your hair.’

    Our society allows the typical-looking/acting people to try to bring others into line with shame or embarrassment.

    ‘Halloween was in October.’
    ‘Depressing, isn’t it?’

    Then, when you have the anonymity of the internet–where people think of everything that makes its way across their screen as asking for their input and thoughts. They’re not taking responsibility for putting a thing on their screen. It’s just arrived in front of them and must be judged.

    ‘Thank you, complete stranger with whom I will never interact again in my life, for your unsolicited opinion.’

    • You’re so correct! Folks make the googly eyes and “not quite under their breath” comments, all the way up to walking up and saying something unnecessary and rude. I’m bit lucky, here in California…it would be really hard to be the “freakiest” here, and in truth, I look more normalish, which is funny when some folks ask me why I don’t look “weirder.” If I were like-minded with the commentor, I’d have found something she made and expressed my distaste for it…but, as slightly better person than she, wouldn’t openly be shitty about her art…I would however talk some smack about her on a blog!.. thanks for reading and commenting V.L.!!!

  4. There are people with closed minds, who only see in black and white. They not only miss all the shades of grey there are, they miss all shades of all the colours!!! Pity on them!!! And they miss you and people like you because of that. Pity on them!!! But they wouldn’t understand this… and I guess they never will. Sounds almost religlous (forgive them etc.) ;).

  5. I’m gonna be singing that song for like, a week.

    I can’t believe people went out of their way to comment that they don’t like something you’ve posted. I’m crap at commenting/liking things I DO like, never mind trolling someone’s art so needlessly. I’ve had it happen to me right when I started, but I must admit I didn’t really know how to handle it, whereas now I’d probably haul off on one (both the wrong reaction I know lol).

    I’m intrigued by the idea something must be ‘beautiful’ to be good too. Try telling that to H.R. Giger…

    I agree with the rest of your rant too. I do tend to ‘like back’ when crocheters like my page, but then I generally skip a good half of my newsfeed because like you I’ll never be a parent nor will I be interested in a thousand baby hats that all look the same as everyone elses and cost waaaaay more than they should. But I’d now feel bad unliking these pages cos then I’m hypocrictically condoning the like for likes back culture. I should really work out how lists work and hide the one I don’t really care about…

    By the way, I’m well excited to see your Frankenstein bag!

    Keep it kreepy hon.

    • Hi Amigiruthi 🙂
      Giger makes beautiful things! Hehehehe Have you seen his chairs and matching table?!
      You can delete individual pages from your lists without unliking them. When you’re showing the posts made in the list (select one on the left side of your timeline), in the top right corner is a button with multiple choices. One of them is “edit”. I think you’ll know how to do the rest 😉
      Also on the list you can place your cursor next to a post of the page you don’t want to see anymore (in the upper right corner of the post) and a tiny choicebox drops magically! There you can make the choice to remove the page from your list entirely. *helpdesk signing of for now*

    • Thank Amiguruthi! You’re so cool!
      Some people just don’t know how to “not be a dick” about stuff…I hope for them that no one is ever needlessly rude… I think the video should be all our response to folks being rude…we should all use it!!!
      Have a lovely weekend!

  6. Thanks for the song yes it is catchy and everyone in my house was singing it.I really enjoy your creepy creations I look forward to seeing all the new ones too(gives my some ideas for a project)
    I found your page through a mutual Fb friend whom suggested that I checked it out and I haven’t stopped checking it out. Thanks Sharon Ojala for suggesting that I go and have a look!Thanks Kim for the wonderful page

  7. Aw Nancy, thank you so much! Love Sharon! She’s GREAT!!! And one of the 2 that got me to stop doubting the creepiness! Thanks for the love of the spawn! I hope to keep making ones you love for a long time! and I LOVE THAT SONG!!!

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