Don’t Try To Bully People Into Liking Your Page, It Makes You a Dick…

Hi folks!  I’m trying something, a twice a week thing… I meant for this post to be more about other parts of my life, but this really got me, so here goes…

This may offend some folks,  this is something done a lot by folks, and some may feel just fine with it… as usual, there is always a bit of profanity…

Having Facebook as the platform for my business currently, I have tried many things to “get the word out.” I visited so many zombie pages, horror pages, monster pages with pictures of my creations and a link.   There are also a great many communities, groups, and pages, where one can go and post links to a page.  Sometimes one goes on a “cruise,” where the page posts a thread, and all the folks who want in put  a “tag” (your business in blue) or a  link in the comment section.  The idea is that the page, and everyone else on the list visits your page, likes it, and then you have more fans.  There are “silent tagging circles” started by friends, with pretty much the same idea. There are times when folks ask for a certain themed item, and everyone rushes to get something listed within that category.  There are sites like LinkedIn, where you can go and connect with other small businesses and groups of handmade items.  Sometimes there are threads where they ask “Do you have a facebook page for your business? If so, place a link in the comment section and  other business owners will visit your page and like it… Thinking that LinkedIn folks maybe had a bit of class, a modicum of decorum, maybe I’d try this link, and see what pans out.   Same old mistake, different forum.

These groups and pages and communities, and the group in LinkedIn I belonged to, have one flaw that presents itself to me quite readily.  Most of the people who frequent them have different products than mine, a lot less creepy.   Most are filled with beauty items, inexpensive  jewelry, candles, different items of clothing for babies, kids and new moms, and some fiberwork, hats, clothes, and dolls mostly.  I don’t fit into that genre.  And while one might think I had some sort of monopoly, I also found that MY personal page got phlegmed up with pages of stuff I didn’t really want to see, AND  my page wasn’t liked as often as the others… they wanted me to like their page , but they didn’t like mine… hmmm.

The LinkedIn thread I posted on sent a few folks my way, and there’s the standard post people make, I’d made my share back in the day, but no more.  “Hi, I popped by from My Business Page  to like your page. You have really interesting stuff!  Please come by and visit.”  If you’re not familiar, this is the Nice Way to say “I went out of my way to come to your page and like it from my personal page, thereby increasing your fan count. You’re supposed to reciprocate.  Some people go ahead and de-humanize a bit further and say “Please go to my page and return the like.”  Did you just tell me to go like your page?  

This practice really digs in my craw.  I was part of a giveaway contest, and as part of the contest to win the entire package, folks had to like a bunch of different pages, including mine.  I got probably a good 100 likes from that contest. And then promptly lost about 40 folks after the contest was over.  They didn’t really like my work, I was a stepping stone.  Screw that! I really only want folks who actually like my work to like the page. 

…SO…The other day, I saw a post go out from someone. It was one of those LinkedIn ones, where the shop owner said something like (and I’m not quoting verbatim, it was too far ago to look for, and maybe the person has wised up…) “Hi, I found you through LinkedIn, and liked your page. Please visit My Page from your personal profile.”   The shop commented something about “Thank you very much for visiting my shop, I appreciate it!”  Now this is the part that makes me so mad, it’s probably a good thing this was on the internet and not someone I heard in a store.  The post-er then commented, “You’re supposed to go and like my page with your personal file. We reciprocate a like for a like, that’s how this works.”………I was…ashamed for that person.  What the hell!?! I mean really!  What if this person doesn’t like or can’t use your product? Why does (s)he have to like your service? Wouldn’t you rather have folks like the page who REALLY LIKE the page?

If all you make is ribbons for babies, I probably won’t like your page.  I don’t have babies, won’t have babies, don’t want babies. So, consequently, I won’t care about, shop for, or want to see pictures of, ribbons for babies.     Why would I want to see that in my newsfeed… “Oh well you can hide it from your newsfeed.”  Why do that? I don’t like/want the product, why like the page in the first place?

I’ve read it before, and then said it before:  I wouldn’t walk into a store that makes stuff similar to mine, or completely not in the same genre doesn’t really fit with mine,  and ask for them to support and promote my stuff, unless that’s their kind of business, or it’s been offered.   But I also admit I could promote my work more.  There is a  level to which I can’t sink though.  Demanding someone return a like for business on Facebook is absolutely beneath the level I’d sink to.  *shiver* The thought of that conversation being said aloud puts a bad taste in my mouth.

A lot of pages put up a post on my timeline similar to the nicer version. And I do visit them.  Now,  I do not feel obligated to “return a like.”  I go to the page, and scroll through the posts for a minute, try to get a feel for the person. And I go through the pictures…  I don’t have a set number of things I have to like in order to qualify it as a page I like… it’s about the work, the subject matter, the person… You’ll know if I really like your page,  I go through and like a bunch of pictures, and will often share a post or picture!  Then I post on the page, or find the post on my page.  I make my presence known. You will know if I like your product.  If you really must post on someone’s timeline that you liked their page, could they return the favor, make it known you actually like the page.  If you say, “Wow I stopped by from MyBusiness  to say hi and like your page. Your stuff is really scary!” and you don’t like any picture or post, then you’re just using me to get a like… JOG ON!!!  I really only want my page frequented by folks who like my work. Yes, I do want new folks to show up, and I do feel lucky that I do have a pretty good amount of folks who ramble into my page somehow, and bring some friends, and I love that so much.  I don’t need random posts telling me my stuff is “scary” or “interesting” or “not what I expected, I guess I’m just used to more typical work, but please go like my page;” it’s like having someone like Graham who hates my bollocks, but also wants me to promote his business…

 Oh no, you have  mistaken me for someone who succumbs to the social convention of “returning the like…You can bite me!

I “like” all manner of pages…lots of the yarny pages of my friends, jewelry, art, horror art,author pages, creepy weird stuff most of you would shudder at: I’ve got a wide variety of pages that hang out on my newsfeed. But if you ever try to post some kind of  “you have to go like my page because I liked yours” BULLSHIT, I will out you on my personal page, maybe a blogpost, maybe the business one too…of course I share my blog on and google+. so you’ll be famous, at being a huge  BITCHY McBITCHERTON.

Just so you know it’s not all badness in Kimland, I have met a few LOVELY folks through LinkedIn, folks who make their presence known, liking, and commenting, reading my blog…You guys are great!!!  And like I said, If someone posts on my timeline that they’ve liked my page, could I visit their page, I absolutely will visit. I’ll read posts, and go through pictures, but there is no guarantee that I will “like” your page.  And if you didn’t really like mine in the first place, then you’ll probably come by and “unlike” my page… no worries, you didn’t really belong anyway.

If you do this regularly, find creative ways to get folks to visit your page. My friend Lee  finds art pages that have a few likes only, or a page that he really likes, and tells them that he likes to Share the Love on his business page , QuiET RoOM BeARs- by Lee Howard,   in case you’re interested –VERY CREEPY BEARS!   And he puts up  a link on his personal and business pages of this other page, and pretty often they like his page back and folks get new likes… It’s a lovely thing, a nice way to make it known you support a page, and would like them to know where YOU come from.  I happen to belong to Horror Artists group on Facebook, partly because that’s the kind of art that inspires me, gets my brain working for my own work, and partly because my work, for the most part, is of the horror genre, so it’s kind of where my work belongs. We share works in progress, finished pics, when someone has something for sale or auction, or is going to a convention.   In spite of the fact that I crochet dolls with yarn they have welcomed me and are happy when I post pictures or comments.  So,  find somewhere you fit in!  If you make things for babies, find groups that cater to new mommies. If you write, find readers.  But be nice.  Folks will really not like your page if you’re a dick about them doing so… They definitely don’t want to do business with you!

Do I want people to buy my creations? like my work? like my page? Of course! We all want that!  But there’s no reason to be shitty about it…I may like your work, but you’re an asshole, suddenly your work maybe isn’t as cool as someone who won’t demand reciprocation for a facebook like…yea, say it out loud, it’s absolutely absurd!

Do I have all the answers? No, obviously not.  I still have lots to learn,  I could promote myself more, I’d so love to do this full time and not have to have a part time job. So yes, I need to learn to promote. And yes, I do on occasion want to connect with a business/art page, and do offer up my page, however, I usually make sure I really dig this person, and like a butt-ton of their pictures and posts and comment. I make it known I do like their work.  I never demand them like my page. I usually thank them in advance, and even talk about what I like about their work.  It’s about making them curious about what you do, or at least they find you to be a pleasant person and wouldn’t mind popping in for a look.  People who are bullied won’t like what you have, even if they need it.  If your creations are like mine, they aren’t really necessary for existing, so being a  dick gets to quickly to NowheresVille.

What do you do to promote yourself? Do you have some great tip? I’d love to know!  I don’t do a lot, but will be looking into it and probably posting, asking for help with ideas  later on sometime.  Do you reciprocate like for like? All the time?  I just want to know… I’m interested in whether my way is the bitchy way, or do you secretly hate liking pages just so they’ll like you back?  If I’m going to put a page in a list of pages I never visit but just liked “because,” why keep it? If I don’t want the product, it’s better not to pretend, I think.  I want the number of likes on my page to really show how many folks really like it…don’t you?..


19 thoughts on “Don’t Try To Bully People Into Liking Your Page, It Makes You a Dick…

  1. I can’t believe people do that! How rude!

    Personally (and I know blogging is different to running a business) I never ask anyone to like my blog, and even in Facebook groups and suchlike I only share my blog if it’s relevant, like if someone is struggling with some aspect of parenting or whatever, rather than typing out a load of blurb, I might suggest they visit my blog. But even doing that makes me feel a bit presumptuous.

    The way I’ve gotten followers (and it’s taken me a long time to get the mere 100 odd I’ve got) is to participate in blog carnivals, write for other online magazines and blogs, put clever comments on other peoples’ blogs that have caught their attention so they’ve sought me out, and writing posts that have brought me attention. All that and shear perseverance and time. I would never imagine going around telling people to like my page! How rude!

    • I know right!!! I am quite appreciative that folks read my blog, and to those folks like you, who comment, I reply right back! If you’ve taken the time to comment, I’m going to give that time right back to you! Business owners on Facebook can get so pushy…It doesn’t matter if you have 5,000 fans, if only 500 really like it. I am totally happy and appreciative of all the folks who take time to click like, and to comment, in business and in the blog. And I really like that most folks found their way themselves,and decided to like it, I didn’t pressure them. I read your blog, not even being a mum, but just enjoying your perspective on things. Very refreshing! You’re amazing, you both are! Nookie is, and will definitely be, an amazing individual!

  2. I am so on board with you! I’ve also noticed some people will comment that they are visiting from “blahblahblah” wow, very interesting page you have. check out mine… and never actually like the page with their personal or business account. You know I check!

    • I do too… Especially the ones who say something like “Wow you’re scary! We’re very scared of you here at “Babies, Buttons and Bows. Come on over and give us a like!” And maybe these people would do this in real life too, and maybe I’m too reserved, but there are just levels I won’t sink to I guess.

  3. Kim, love this topic. I did a giveaway once which did the same thing. I got lots of likes but what was the point if they weren’t interested? I eventually shut that page down. I don’t require anyone to like my page and I’d much rather have people interact with me than like and run.
    Your crochet is unique but it is something that has a market and I’m glad you found a group that has welcomed you.
    I don’t have many fans but the ones I do have I know are there because they want to be at least that is what I choose to believe.

    • Hi Sara! I appreciate your reading and commenting, thanks! This kind of thing really gets me. Business owners want people to like their product, but are pushy about their marketing, and bottom line, a person’s attitude can make or break a sale, or a relationship!

  4. I have big issues with this whole topic as well. I happen to know a few small business pages in the crochet community who have very few likes, but do a fabulous business. They are always busy, always have orders, are always working on their list and creating new things. On the other hand, there are business pages with likes that number into the thousands who don’t do a fraction of the business that the ones with less likes do. I think this just serves as a reminder that the number of likes and the pressure to get more likes is not the important thing for a small business page on facebook. It truly isn’t. I think people waste too much time on trying to garner likes, when the real thing they desire is customers. So the whole little dance of “liking my page because I liked yours,” becomes ludicrous and a big waste of energy. And I totally agree with you that the manner in which people will try to get others to like their pages just seems unmannerly and desperate. Love this post!

    • Thanks T! We all want to be liked by a lot of people. BUT, like you said, there are shops with only a few folks hanging out, but they’re busy. AND part of why they’re busy HAS TO BE how the person/business owner interacts with people. I love talking and chatting with people interested enough to type a comment, I appreciate it!.. Thanks for reading the blog lady, you’re the greatest!

  5. I do do the “Hi from (at tag)” thing but I only like pages I actually like so I kind of assume they might like me too, I wouldn’t stop liking a page because they didn’t like me. I do like sharing other people’s work as well and now and again that will lead to a new like. But the ONLY way to promote your page on FB (with out handing all your cash over to FB) is to post lots, that way people like and comment, their friends see that and (assuming they like the same things as their friends) they will like your page too. On that note I have some how ended up hosting a conversation between friends on one of my photos that went in to their personal lives.

    • Hi Amanda!
      I do that, on occasion, but I never say “be sure to like my page back.” Also, I try to make sure that I like a few posts or pictures, some people look!
      I know it’s hard to market on fb for free, I’m not paying to promote! but I do post daily and make sure to engage folks, and reply back a lot, I just think that we as small online businesses still could hold ourselves to a level of coolness…the lady in the post had sunk below a bit…

  6. I love it when you rant. It’s readable rants which is very rare. Also I agree so that helps lol.

    I tend to like the comment left on my wall and then I do go look at a page and if I like what I see I’ll like the page, but honestly would they even know if I didn’t? I very rarely notice who has liked my page unless they comment on something and even then I know maybe a handful of people who regularly like and comment and I supposedly have 200+ followers. Same from my side, there’s only a few blogs and peoples personal pages I ever remember to check! I don’t even know if you’ve liked my page, that’s how little I’m aware lol. (If not, OMG, like totes go visit and like it or I’ll. like, cry or sumfink). To be honest if you hadn’t I wouldn’t be offended like some people get cos as you say you make very different things, and have very different likes – different opinions on the internet, who’d have thunk it?

    As for promoing, try Handmade Harbour’s Handmade Monday – you post a link to your creation and there’s pictures of others’ creations and you can click on what you want to look at and ignore the rest. Excellent.

  7. Thanks Amiguruthi! I am glad they’re readable,and that we agree. That’s always nice!
    There are folks who go and look at likes and make sure someone has liked them back. I have even seen conversations wherein someone found that then another had unliked her page, she went and returned the unlike…WOW! That wasn’t really a like in the first place…And I do like your page, from my page as well, and you’re on my list of folks I made so that I could be sure to see those posts.
    And I thank you for the suggestion, as well!

    • I feel privileged lol. I actually did notice today – shows how often I actually take note of the names on my comments lol. bad Facebooker is bad.
      Life is waaaay to short to go looking for people who’ve unliked a page surely? These people have to ask themselves what is really important lol x

  8. It’s a funny thing about human sense of loyalty. If someone likes your page, you almost feel compelled to visit theirs and do likewise. I often visit the pages of people who have liked my pictures and, like you, have a good look around and maybe make a comment if I am touched by anything I’ve seen there, but will not necessarily like the page. I like to see what else is out there and what other folks go for.

    I crochet for pleasure and it’s nice to know that other people like your work, especially if they like it enough to place an order, but that’s not the reason why I crochet. I crochet because it’s a fantastic way to relax and forget the big bad world. I often give my creations away and I like the smile on people’s faces when they realize you made something really special for them that could never be bought in a shop. That’s the true like!

    Creepy hugs to you

    • Hi Fatima!!!
      I love crochet, it’s amazing, you can freeform and create anything. I make yarnbombs, often skulls, sometimes hearts, and put them in parks, they’re always gone soon, I always hope someone liked it and kept it. I feel so very lucky folks like what I make, and I really do try to make something they will be touched and happy with, for much time to come.
      I really do try to find things that I like when I go to a page, and it’s not always something that I like, per se, but something that I know how much work went into, I see the effort and love of what they do, and I do try to share those pages I may not like myself, with someone I know does, to take my place, as such.
      Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment, I love that so much
      Creepy hugs to you, too!

  9. Reblogged this on Becki's Book Blog and commented:
    Etiquette be damned! I love this post!
    I don’t ‘like’ every page that ‘likes’ mine, I do check everybody out, give them a fair chance. But, if you’re selling insurance, or your blog is in Swahili, chances are… I won’t return that “FAVOR”.
    Another problem I have, I don’t get to check someone out fast enough & they try to guilt me. People! Really? I’m busy. I’m sorry. I have a job, I have a husband, I have a life.

    I’ve made some good blogger friends & found some excellent sites. Take some tips from Kreepy Kim here, don’t be a dick! Chill out. Have some fun.

    P, L, & N

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