Hello dear ones!
Last week I was finishing Mikey the ninja turtle. He’s all done, and a few days in the mail already–He’s on his way to Ontario, Canada, so he takes a bit of time. Here he is if you hadn’t seen him.
I’ve started Zombie Lucille Ball and there will be a Zombie Ricky Ricardo. I’ve been daydreaming about this order for a few weeks. Jill is cool enough to give me lots of freedom in making them. She didn’t even tell me what age, or what they should wear… which, I might add, is amazing! She’s tall, 9″ tall so far without hair and shoes… Did I tell you I’m going to make shoes? Not crochet shoes. she’s Lucille Ball! I’m going to attempt polymer clay shoes…crazy, yes, I know. It could go well, they could just fall apart…both have happened in my head already, so I’m prepared for either…
Have had a few new ideas for upcoming spawn. I can’t do anything about them for a couple months. which is probably good. Some of the ideas need some mulling around… I really need to figure out a way to wake up and be “ready to work.” I could totally use a few 10-12 hour creating sessions. That’s not really something that I get too often, but it could be nice.
This part of my blog has strong opinions, some swearing, and a naked zombie at the end. Not safe for work, whiny people who don’t like strong language, or for those Pattern-Please bitches…
So, I know I’ve written about this before, but I’ve seen it happen lately, and it still gets me all crazed. It’s the Pattern-Please Princesses again… That’s their new name. And Princess isn’t a compliment…she’s a sort of useless, overentitled good-for-nothing. For you who aren’t hookers, Pattern-Please Princesses are the ones whose comment on a picture of a lovely creation that has been crocheted, or knitted, is “Pattern please,” like that makes their harpy like shrieks better. I’d like to smack them.
You are a hooker, and you have designed something SOOOO wonderful. It’s truly exactly how you envisioned it. You put up a picture of your creation, a piece of your soul. And some idiot comes along with “Pattern please.” Yes, they deserved to be slapped in the face.
I don’t create patterns, I don’t work from patterns (except for socks and gloves, but then they’re patterns where I choose the yarn and needles, make a gauge swatch, and measure the hands or feet–very personal items, made for a specific person). I realize that’s not really the norm. I don’t like patterns for most things… to me, it’s like using someone else’s words to tell my story, someone else’s skills to create MY vision. But some hookers, knitters too I imagine, see something lovely, cute, amazing, and then instead of FIRST complimenting the artist on how much work went into it, what a wonderful creation it is, just want the instructions for themselves…ugh, they annoy me so.
Last weekend I was looking at micro-crochet to share in a community I help admin, and I saw some very amazing little creatures. I found them on flickr, and was looking through the pictures, when I saw them… the Pattern Please Princesses. On one picture in particular, there were 3 of these shrews, not one of them told the artist anything about how lovely, how much work went into creating them, not one bit about how they were envious of her skill. Just pattern please, and when the artist said she didn’t create patterns, they harassed her. “Why not” “When will it be up?” “Can’t you just write down what you did really quick” One bitch kept on, asking “Can’t you just go look at it and write down some numbers for me? It can’t be that hard to count.” She, in particular, deserves a double slap. What. The. Hell.
If you are one of these princesses, my opinion of you is amazingly low. You must not know what it takes to have an idea and create a thing from just your idea. I’m not talking about the folks who use patterns for most everything they create, I’m talking about the jerks who think everything should be a pattern, given away for free, so that you can create everything you want. They kind of remind me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings… I imagine them hording patterns in some filing system, stroking their preciouses.
This is in red, for effect. If you are a Pattern Please Princess, yes, I do want to slap you, you deserve it. You CAN change. IF YOU NEED A PATTERN, and I use need loosely, because well, that’s just a crock of shit, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL YOU FIND HOLY, COMPLIMENT THE ARTIST!!!!!! Your creation is lovely/amazing/so very cute! I’ve not seen anything I like so much/It’s just the most wonderful _______/ You are so very talented/It must have taken you so much focus to create the great detail/The stitching is so lovely… You get the idea. Compliment the work you like so much. It doesn’t cost you anything, and obviously you think the creation is wonderful, you want to make one. THEN, after a few sentences of praise, then, you may ask if there might be a pattern. IF THERE IS NOT, OR WON’T BE, DROP IT. Keeping at it makes people embarassed for you, you look like some jerk who just won’t move on. Really. I’ve deleted comments because I couldn’t look at the begging anymore. It’s desperate. And shallow. If there’s no pattern and there won’t be, say thank you and move along.
I will always wonder about the real lives of Pattern Please Princesses. Are they so very annoying in the real world? How did they get to be that way? Why didn’t someone just tear into them just once? How were they never set straight by someone in their lives, a family member, a “friend,” a boss? How did they just not get told “not everything is for you.” I probably seem a bit sensitive about it, but after coming across about a dozen creations where the Princesses just hounded the artist without properly praising first, I began to just feel so ashamed of those other hookers. So much so I had to go looking at other art, just to find a picture of something that the comments didn’t say “tell me how you made that exactly.”
I actually don’t belong to many crochet groups, communities, because I can’t stand the Princesses, and they are in every group, looking for patterns, wanting to know why some won’t share. One Princess told me that in order to join their community I had to share a pattern of my own creation, for free. My exact words were “Fuck your community.” A bit harsh, maybe. But I’m not a Princess, and couldn’t possibly hang out with them. I just wanted her to know I don’t belong with them. I am so. much. more than that.
So…that’s been my week. Finishing Mikey, starting Zombie Lucy, being inspired to create some new things, being annoyed by Princesses. Just another week… Hopefully I’ll be able to show you more of Lucy next time, right now she’s just a faceless zombie with underpants.
Have a good week, Keep it creepy!!!